Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Bob.
I am told that my full moniker is Bobbert Leopold Von Landregstein. I am almost certain that this is my human's idea of a joke.
Under the burden of such a ludicrous appellation, I manage to hold on to my dignity and my pride by a hair. If that were not enough, I am the victim of daily physical abuses, without the gift of arms or legs with which to defend myself, or even a mouth which could open to give voice to my anguish.
After hours (and sometimes days) of forced isolation, my only comfort is the arrival of my two new humans. While they still fail to treat me with basic courtesy or respect, and while their intelligence I fear will never equal my own, their antics amuse me. I have named them Bimble and Todd, and have made almost pets of them.
My hope is that one day they will no longer feel the need to resort to violence (in particular violence directed against me) in order to express themselves. I'd also appreciate it if they'd stop dressing me up in silly hats.
Their training is a daunting task, but I feel I am up to the challenge.
